Story
"I say, Jeeves, I can't seem to locate any of my hats!" I complained to the trusted manservant. "There's no derby, fedora, topper, alpine hat, nor homburg to be found! I could have sworn I had a variety of hats, in a broad spectrum of color tones, from the cocoa brown, ivory, dove grey, moss green, to the aubergine one. And now they seem to be altogether invisible!"
"There was a slight difficulty," explained the manservant. "The fashion sensibility of the headgear in question was flawed, Sir. One style was garish, another was disturbing. The French would call one hat outre, and the other gauche, while the last hat (I regret to say) could only be called obnoxious."
"Is that right? So where, my good man, are these hats that you so object to? Don't tell me that you pitched the lot out the window?" I said, with not a little steam.
"Oh no, Sir, the window was not employed. The Porter admired one so much that we offered it to him as a gratuity. One was inadvertently left in the back seat of a taxi. We donated one to the jumble sale for a very good cause, and another unfortunately fell into the dustbin. Finally, the dog Towser next door took a fancy to one of the hats and has adopted it as a chewtoy."
Can you figure out. from the following nine clues, what word Jeeves employed to critique which hat of what color, and where the hat wound up?
